Lots and lots of picture bawfuly goodness from this weekend to share, so I'll try to keep this one short.
Here's one from Basketbawful reader Will: "After reading this article, I've come to the conclusion that Isaiah Thomas is actually the world's foremost character actor and his ongoing role is a delusional nutcase. See what he says about the sexual harassment suit the Knicks lost because of him."
And as linked on Deadspin: NBA Player Visualization. Cartoon caricatures of NBA players are created with the size and shape of their legs, arms, heads, eyes, etc. based on different stats. Once you look at it, the whole thing makes sense. It is far more entertaining than I ever anticipated. It's also great proof that Chris Duhon is a terrible basketball player.
Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:
Nationally Televised Games:
Magic at Spurs, NBA TV, 8:30pm: The Spurs are off to their best start ever, and averaging 107.8 points per game. Are people still throwing out that cliché that the Spurs are a boring team to watch? Just curious.
All The Other Games:
Celtics at Hawks, 7pm: Rajon Rondo's expected to sit out this game. Noooooooooooooooo!! Not another loss!!!
Pacers at Heat, 7:30pm: Udonis Haslem's ligaments. Dwayne Wade's hand. The Countdown to Failure continues to escalate! Like the Jelly of the Month Club, it's the gift that keeps on giving.
Timberwolves at Thunder, 8pm: So, wait a second. Kevin Durant, the team's star player, gets injured and suddenly the team wins two straight games?? Ewing Theory overload! Ewing Theory overload!! Someone go check on Bill Simmons and make sure his head hasn't exploded Scanners-style.
Suns at Rockets, 8:30pm: Two broken, beaten down teams with uneven rosters that can't play defense enter, one team leaves with a victory. It's like the lamest version of the Thunderdome ever.
Kings at Jazz, 9pm: The Jazz are averaging an NBA-worst 44.1% in the first half, and an NBA-leading 48.8% in the second half. Does ANYBODY on this team realize that an NBA game is 48 minutes long? Do they need to hang posters in the locker room to remind everyone? I mean, it's not like the NFL's concussion posters where you expect everyone to forget things. (Because they have concussions, you see.)
Nuggets at Warriors, 10:30pm: I just always find it entertainingly goofy when a team can average 3.7 fewer points per game than they allow, yet they have a winning record. The Golden State Warriors, everyone!
Hornets at Clippers, 10:30pm: Let me get this straight. The Hornets shot 32.2% from the field and won a game?? I don't care if it's against the Purple Paupers, that's still unbelievable. A middle school team wearing blindfolds could put up a better shooting percentage than that against Suckramento. And yet they still won that game! This has to be a sign for the kind of season New Orleans is going to have. You might as well put money on them to make it to the NBA Finals at this point. (NOTE: not liable for any and all gambling losses you will undoubtedly suffer if you listen to my advice. If I knew anything about gambling, 1) I wouldn't be working a 9-to-5 job, and 2) I wouldn't share my knowledge on a blog, especially one that pays me $0 a year)
Oh, and just for the record, the Clippers are who we thought they were, and I am sad for Blake Griffin.
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Jose Calderon air guitar solo, Los Angeles Clippers
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http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/1200/joseguitar.jpg
These folks put together a visual display based on each player's stats. It makes a lot of players look very weird. My favorites are Jason Kidd, Dwight Howard, JaVale McGee, Rajon Rondo, and Rasheed Wallace.
"It's time for Erick Dampier"
enough said!
hahaha, those are really fun player's stat displays.
Bawful mention to ESPN Heat index.
They're talking about Erick-a Dampier as the Heat's Messiah.
All of a sudden the "Big Three" needs a Savior, a shiny armor knight named "Erick Dampier" !
Simply bawful.
But fear not, as we all know John Hollinger will felate them with reckless abandon regardless!
It doesn't help when Wade shoots 1-11 and LeBron goes 4-10. I suppose that could be fixed if they had a bench, but, well...
If Miami is going to play this bad, is it even fun to make fun of them anymore?
Heat lost AT HOME to the pacers.
Erick Dampier can;t rescue them soon enough.
O yeah, when I say Wade had 5 points, I meant 3.
Then again, I could be completely wrong.
We can't discard King James great contribution to tonight's epic fail as he led the Heat's turnoverapalooza with 6 misgivings followed closely by fellow "Big 3" members Dwade and Chris Bosh with 5 and 4 respectively.
And is not even like the Pacers were lighting it up from the floor as they shot a modest/decent 44% and 37% from three point land.
Oh and in case you were wondering how did the Heat fared without their best rebounder. The Pacers were only +5 on the boards and grabbed 10 offensive rebounds to the Heat's 6.
So what went wrong? The Heat just looked completely discombobulated.
At one point in the third quarter things got really weird for the Heat.
Dwade gets a tech for arguing a call. And you could see it, He was PISSED.
A couple of possessions later, he is wide open waiting for a LBJ pass, Lebron instead looks for Ilgauzkas but his pass gets intercepted.
One possession later Ilgauzkas turns the ball over and on the following possession Wade is --again-- open waiting for Lebron's Pass, again Lebron gives the ball to Ilgauzkas on the elbow for a missed 18 footer.
At this point you could see it. Dwade was in FUCK THIS SHIT mode. One possession later Wade has Lebron open but he jacks up a contested 3 instead.
On the next possession Lebron takes the FUCK THIS SHIT to a whole new level and retaliates by launching three consecutive 3 pointers.
The whole sequence was kind of surreal, it was my dream come true. Watching the Heat destroy itself against a sub-par team!
Take that Monday night Foot Ball !!!
I can't believe this could potentially get worse as soon as they signed Dampier, muahahahaha
Memo to Lebron, instead of colluding with two other superstars try colluding with 3 superstars and make sure one of them is really tall and strong but not too strong because that would be like pushing the "easy button" and we know you don't like pushing that button.
- Dampier is only 40 days younger than Big Z
- Dampier has actually played in 76 more NBA games than Z has
- Z has been in two All-Star Games while Dampier has never been in one
- Last year's stats for the two players: Z - 7.4 ppg, 5.4 rpg, .8 bpg Dampier - 6.0 ppg, 7.3 rpg, 1.4 bpg
I don't think Heat fans should think that Erick Dampier is the solution to the solar-system sucking vacuum they've got at center. He'll help a little bit, but Miami needs more than just a little help at center.
In any event, it's not like Miami's frontcourt woes explain why they got drilled by Indy tonight. Roy Hibbert and Josh McRoberts combined for only 9 points and 8 boards tonight for the Pacers.
The worse they play, the more fun it is.
Maybe LeDouche can have a TV special to talk about his feelings, and how mean it is that they don't just give him the NBA title.
Word Verification: dimand
"It's hard to believe that on a team with James and Wade, Eric Dampier's skills are in high dimand."
And is Bosh really gonna chuck 20 footers and look like a wounded giraffe all season long? If so, that's a flagrant foul against the game of basketball. Too bad LeBron never developed a post up game, huh? Or off ball movement. Or a pullup game. Or...well, anything that doesn't involve him holding the ball for half the shot clock and sponging stats from his team.
OK, OK, I'm sorry. That wasn't very adult of me. But seriously, they had a 38-13 FT advantage. And we just clobbered them despite the fact Hibbert only played 21 minutes because of foul trouble, Collison didn't play much because of his injury, and Granger went 6-21 (played some nice D though). The Cheats had the game gift wrapped for them and they STILL wilted.
I might be enjoying this Frankstein experiment a little too much, especially if they do somehow end up turning it around. But you have to admit, this could potentially be an ALL TIME bawful story. I mean, LeBron and Wade are (supposedly) premier talents, but they just disappeared this season in their prime. They may as well have died in car crashes, as far as Stern is concerned. Well, I guess everyone will be tuning in to root for whoever they're playing, so maybe he doesn't care.
Manu is still Manu, and I'm starting to think the Spurs are legit.
Paul Westphal has been giving Tyreke the same treatment LeBron got in cleveland. Let's hope for Tyreke's sake something about that dynamic changes.
As for Damp, we simply need a big ass to grab rebounds and block. Z is a different change of pace center, he can't survive an 82 game slog, admirable as he's been.
firespo.com
"We're not having fun right now," James said.
... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS7nqwGt4-I
And why isn't he playing with horn-rimmed glasses?
And there's a limit to what CP3 can do after dribbling out the shot clock on every possession.
(Yes, I typed that correctly.)
Overhyped bullshit that gets really old and tiresome in the middle.
As far as the Dampier signing, who else were the Heat going to get off the wire? They don't have any assets worth trading either. Dampier makes sense, but then again, not signing Bosh and making a move for a Marc Gasol, Al Jefferson, or similar inside player would have made more sense. Bosh plays on the perimeter too much for a team that needs inside scoring and defense.
Two offensively-minded players who dominate the ball, play a lot of isolation, and don't complement each other offensively (Iverson-Melo, Bron-Wade).
An overrated big whose stats are bigger than his actual impact (Camby, Bosh).
A bunch more bigs who are undersized or gimpy or just not that good (Kenyon Martin-Nene- Najera, Z-Joel Anthony-Dampier-Haslem).
A veteran starting PG who contributes little to the game (Anthony Carter, Arroyo).
A handful of one-dimensional bench guys (JR Smith-Linas Kleiza, James Jones-Eddie House-Mike Miller).
A ton of hype about how their star power will make them win a lot of games (people were saying those Nuggets would win 60, and the Heat could challenge 72), but they don't really equal that on the court, and will likely be playoff fodder for a better-constructed contender.
Both teams even had an early season loss to the Pacers...
Here's a great article from Matt Moore on what a mess the Heat are: Erick Dampier will not solve the Heat disaster
It kind of sucks to see the Heat play with no rhythm. I want to dislike them, but I also want them to be as good as advertised. Who wants to watch Wade and two front runners Jack up thirty-footers all night?
One major difference (aside from a bunch of others) is that Wade and LeBron are both top-notch perimeter defenders. AI and Melo couldn't keep a fat kid away from the cookie jar.
Honestly, that team's glaring flaw isn't in it's roster, it's more a matter of character. They have the tools it takes to be a contender for the eastern title, it just doesn't have the mentality.
Get this woman a prize!
"OK, OK, I'm sorry. That wasn't very adult of me"
Sure it was. A very cynical adult who loves basketball and an ability to think of puns on the fly.
I only hope the collapse continues.
LeBron James: Upscale Role Player
Erick Dampier: The Savior
Eddie House: Go To Guy
Wow.
Said Coach Larry Drew after getting blown out by Rondo-less Celtics at home the night after the Leprechauns lost in Toronto: “This was very, very embarrassing,” he said. “If I had to sum it up in one word: embarrassing. To come out with that type energy; that type urgency. What I see with our team right now I don’t feel real good about.”
Last year and probably more, i wished for games to last for 5 qtrs, because the Jazz did ok the first two, failed to show up the 3rd and by the 4th realized they wee still playing a real game!
I'll take the current change of thought process for now. Even if it is taking years per game off my life!
Oh has anybody noticed the three musketeers have not yet gelled in the image of the medias super star team? I guess it's tough with three of five yelling FEED ME ME ME!