Hollywood rumor mill Mediatakeout.com (also known as Drudge Report for dummies) reported last week that romantic sparks are flying between Yao Ming and actress Nia Long, citing reliable sources. If by "reliable sources" they mean from the depths of their own rectum. From Nia Long's perspective, Yao's irresistible Shanghai-ality would be a significant upgrade. C'mon, she can do better than a convicted felon or a jokeless comedian in a fat suit. But Yao, who reportedly fell in love with Nia while watching "Fresh Prince" reruns on Nick At Nite, was quick to squash the rumor...

''Isn't it too ridiculous?'' Yao told a Beijing paper. ''I saw the news on Internet. The writer is so good at hoaxes. What's that? She's only 1.57 m. (5 feet, 2 inches). I'm [7-6]. Does it sound reasonable?''


Yes. That is the only thing that makes this sound unreasonable.

Don't get your hopes up. the Hollywood couple of "Ni-Yao" won't be following in the footsteps of Brangelina, Bennifer, Vaughniston, Tongoria, Quandy or Filliam H. Muffman. We'll have to settle for pastry-stealing centers and mohawks to get our entertainment fix. Sigh...

The caption is Chinese for "not f'n likely"
2 Comments:
Anonymous Mr T said...
I can't believe you left the penultimate couple of all off this list - "Mullnoff"

That was the beautiful union of Chris Mullin and Schmirnoff that led ultimately led to a spot on Dream Team 1, an amazingly high shooting/FT percentage and potential HOF career.

Anonymous Mr T said...
On another note, you guys should do a post on this same tangent - highlighting player's girl's/wives and how you know they wouldn't be pulling that trim unless they were loaded...ahem...Scottie Pippen.

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